Can your mind be blown on your own time?
Sometimes when I look around, all I can see is how the world can be improved. I’m full of criticisms because so much infrastructure in my city and state (and country, let’s be real) is entirely outdated.
There is one thing I’ve noticed on social media lately, and it’s people sharing how shocked they are by what they’ve found during their re-education outside of the education system. There is a line from Grey’s Anatomy where Dr.Yang says to Dr.Wilson, “Can your mind be blown on your own time?” That cracks me up because people just want to share share share their emotional response to the information they’re learning. And I get the impulse, truly, I do. But that impulse needs to be controlled to the point of action, not expression. I’ll use the example of an argument with a man on Instagram.
He was going off, apropos of nothing, about men being wrongfully accused of sexual assault, and his emotional response is to ask me what I’m doing about it. I responded with my actions volunteering with previously incarcerated men and women, with work in my community on prison reform, voting rights for incarcerated individuals, and defense of mental health for men, as well as helping families in my area obtain services to reduce energy bills since an adult in the household has either been murdered, or incarcerated, or a combination of the two. And this stranger continues to go off about how white women are hurting men with sex. My take on that is that he has learned some disturbing statistics and instead of doing something about it, he’s shouting at anyone he has access to. I responded with 1in6.org and suggested he get some help.
It’s rough that our culture does not protect people who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, especially with mislabeling it as “sex,” when it’s actually rape. It’s horrendous when I see media describing male celebrities as “having sex” at young ages, still in the midst of their childhoods. It’s heartbreaking that boys are rushed into manhood too soon. To me, this is unacceptable. I will not stand for it and I do not participate in this deceptive language. And this becomes the issue with people being unable to process their emotions. These issues have not been dealt with as a society. But as an individual, and and that man probably agree on this issue, but his emotions are leading him to believe that I am his enemy, because….. I’m a white woman? He’s interrogating me, “what are you doing?” And there’s nothing that I could possibly do to settle his emotions, that’s his job. His mind is being blown on my time.
My mind has been blown on other people’s time. It still happens. I am always learning more about the corruption of fossil fuels and how we have been forced into our addiction to it. It’s horrible and yeah, I’m working on letting my mind blow on my time, but not my coworkers’, my friends’, my family’s. I’m working on finding outlets. Like getting a job in a space that is divorced from fossil fuel sale and over consumption. But I will defend myself with this being a present issue and I’m not acting as though cars are some brand new invention that is going to destroy the world if we buy EVs. I’m looking at how to unhook the past from present and it’s a systemic issue.
Another example is with people seemingly being unable to distinguish the influence that America’s racist past has on the present and future, but to recognize that we are not living in the past. Yes, systemic racism is still a mega-issue in our country. Yes, diversity/equity/inclusion is wildly being interrogated in this country as though it’s problematic for anyone. But these two things do not mean that we are living in Jim Crow era segregation. That is truly not arguable. We are living in 2024 and it’s come with its own issues, but we cannot behave as though they are the exact same issues as 1940. They aren’t! They’re new and improved and still very much issues taking lives today. I won’t stand for this either. We don’t live in a post-racial society, that’s not what I’m saying, but we are absolutely not living in the Jim Crow south and it’s doing nobody any favors to keep living in the past.
As always, here is a list of book recommendations. Historians are truly doing God’s work and I will die on that hill. I have to remain positive, but I also have to imagine a real future that I want to create and live in tomorrow. The past has its ugliness, but there’s so much opportunity in learning about the past, opportunity to improve, and honestly to reprove in order to prevent repeating mistakes that do not morally sit well with me. These books are focused on living through big, special, incredible and true lives, and changing one’s circumstances for the betterment of the future. It was difficult to tailor this list down to a handful, so check out my Goodreads for my list on reconciling the past. (Oops there’s over 100.) I selected books here that are memoirs that highlight the, I repeat, incredible past that individuals overcame. These are books that blew my mind about the things that we are capable of enduring and circumstances that are absolutely worth sharing. Life is hard, and it has always been hard, and will always be hard, and it’s important to maintain perspective about what people are capable of, and what’s important in the grand scheme. There are some universal human experiences that are inescapable, like heartbreak and humiliation, but some systemic challenges are not worth tolerating and allowing future generations to continue to endure.
(My usual disclaimer that I do not recommend books that I haven’t read :P :P)
Haben: The Deafblind Woman Who Conquered Harvard Law by Haben Girma “Born with deaf-blindness, Girma grew up with enough vision to know when someone was in front of her and enough hearing to know when someone close to her was talking. However, she had difficulty reading facial features or distinguishing people in group conversations. Relying on her own problem-solving skills, Girma overcame roadblocks while simultaneously obtaining her undergraduate and then law degree.”
Educated by Tara Westover “Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her "head-for-the-hills bag". In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father's junkyard. Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education.”
Trejo: My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood by Danny Trejo “In honest, unflinching detail, Danny recounts how he managed the horrors of prison, rebuilt himself after finding sobriety and spirituality in solitary confinement, and draws inspiration from the adrenaline-fueled robbing heists of his past for the film roles that made him a household name. He also shares the painful contradictions in his personal life.”
Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance “A deeply moving memoir, with its share of humor and vividly colorful figures, Hillbilly Elegy is the story of how upward mobility really feels. And it is an urgent and troubling meditation on the loss of the American dream for a large segment of this country.”
Dust Tracks on a Road by Zora Neale Hurston “Dust Tracks on a Road is the bold, poignant, and funny autobiography of novelist, folklorist, and anthropologist Zora Neale Hurston, one of American literature's most compelling and influential authors. Hurston's powerful novels of the South--including Jonah's Gourd Vine and, most famously, Their Eyes Were Watching God--continue to enthrall readers with their lyrical grace, sharp detail, and captivating emotionality. First published in 1942, Dust Tracks on a Road is Hurston's personal story, told in her own words. “
And for some laughs and deep ancestry perspective:
Humans: A Brief History of How We F*cked It All Up by Tom Phillips “In the seventy thousand years that modern human beings have walked this earth, we've come a long way. Art, science, culture, trade - on the evolutionary food chain, we're real winners. But, frankly, it's not exactly been plain sailing, and sometimes - just occasionally - we've managed to really, truly, quite unbelievably f*ck things up. From Chairman Mao's Four Pests Campaign, to the American Dustbowl; from the Austrian army attacking itself one drunken night, to the world's leading superpower electing a reality TV mogul as President... it's pretty safe to say that, as a species, we haven't exactly grown wiser with age. So, next time you think you've really f*cked up, this book will remind you: it could be so much worse.”
